Started the day off pretty good. I ate a large breakfast. Oatmeal, yogurt, an orange, and a french toast sandwich. Then, I skipped lunch. Bad idea. I got home binged on a couple protein bars, 3 cups cottage cheese, 1 cup ice cream, about a cup of almonds, and some peanut butter. Obviously, my body needed it. I’ve been desperate to gain weight, and the last time I did it, I used binging and purging. Binging and purging is NOT the best way to gain weight, but I’ve never done it any other way. Well, my parents got home, and I didn’t have any time to run to the bathroom to purge. I told my mom I had just binged, and I really wanted to purge. She kept me out of the bathroom, which is what I needed, not necessarily what I wanted. Then, I had to eat spaghetti and meatballs for dinner. Murder me now. I feel so ill. My stomach feels like it’s going to explode. I keep on trying to remind myself that I need to gain some weight, but the panic feels so overwhelming. Fullness doesn’t last forever, though.