Downward Spiral or Riptide?

It is so easy to get sucked into the cycle of binging and purging. I’m now struggling with weird food cravings I discovered during my recent binges: pie crust and raw flour and water paste. Right now, I really want to binge and purge on those things, but, thank God, there’s no privacy. Everyone’s awake. I wish I’d never started. It seems like once I give into a craving, the craving happens more often. If I see the binging and purging like a downward spiral, there’s no escape. Eventually, I’ll be pulled under. However, if binging and purging is more like a riptide, I can swim at a diagonal. It will be really hard at first, but as I swim away from the riptide (temptations) the pull won’t be as strong. I haven’t binged and purged yet today. I’m not going to. I’m going to ask for a benedryl so I don’t wake up in the middle of the night and have a binging and purging session.

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