Caught Red-Handed

Mom caught me at the end of a binge this morning. I had eaten 2 bananas, 1/4 of a chocolate panettone, 2 cups cottage cheese, a couple tablespoons peanut butter, and a package of chicken deli meat. Mom said that I had gorged and been greedy. I hadn’t purged yet, but it made me want to purge even more; to get rid of it all and forget about it. Dad got up and said the amount I had eaten was fine. He just didn’t want me eating alone and to the point of feeling physically sick. I still wanted to purge, but Dad made it possible for me to sit in my chair and not purge. Calorie numbers *trigger warning*

I ate around 1500 calories and kept it all down. I know it’s not a huge amount of calories, but it feels like a huge binge to me because I didn’t purge. I need the calories because I need to gain at least 10 pounds. Dad and I discussed the binging, and we agreed it would be best that I pre-make my breakfast if I couldn’t eat with him or mom. If I did that, I would have a definite amount that I should eat, thereby preventing binging and restricting at breakfast. 

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