Today, I went to my dietician. I haven’t binged or purged since the 4th. I feel so much better after seeing her! I told her I’ve been struggling knowing whether I’m eating enough and the binging and purging. She started me on food exchanges. For dinner I followed the exchanges and I ate more than I have in a while. I also don’t feel as guilty because I feel like I have permission to eat. I’m hoping I’ll have more control over my eating and gain some weight. It’s funny. I used to think the eating disorder gave me control over food. Now, I realize that when I obey my eating disorder, I’m out of control. When I’m truly in control, I’m eating what my body needs.